A few months ago I had sex with my pastor's daughter, it went on for months but we stopped. Now she is doing much better spiritually and it's completely over it. Problem is I am not, I still think about her every day. I wanna get over it but I don't even have anyone to talk to openly about it. I feel I would be judged and I can't talk to my friends because they are her friends too. Lord give me strenght! It's consuming my life

an asian kid farted and walked right by me.... it smelled like lemons

Anyone ever felt so angry for so long, that the anger just kind of stagnates and forces you into this weird apathetic emotional limbo?

yeah that's me. I've spent so much time in limbo, i'm never even sure if the "feelings" I express are even real.

I create an alter ego that I present to most people here that I don't simply ignore. I call him "Pseudo-(my_name_here)". When i'm alone is when i'm most free. That version of me I call "(my_name_here) Prime". I can't say in earnest that I have made any friends or meningful relationships at GFU (big surprise there, right?). I'm sure the people I do hang out with would be revolted to know what i'm really like. So why do I hang out with them? Partly because I've seen them go out of their way to include me sometimes, which I am very grateful for, and partly because I opened up to them about a pain I harbored one time at a camp retreat or something, and they didn't shut me down. However, showing someone a small glimpse of the pain I once felt, and showing someone the effect that pain has had on me are two different things.

It's not as if I care how they feel about me or how they would feel if I were to "euthanize" my alter ego. I'm too much of a sociopath for that. I think it's more like i'm extending a courtesy to them for showing me some kindness.

I'm an asshole, I know i'm an asshole, and to be honest, I kind of enjoy being an asshole, but to those people who were the first at GFU to show me some kindness, I will suffer them not my horrid tendencies.

Like everyone else, i wish to find someone who is willing to except me when I've unfortunately dropped my guard. However, I doubt that will ever happen at Fox.
I take comfort in that feeling. The only kind of person who'd accept someone like me is another person like me. Fox wouldn't be able to deal with us if we were to come together, and eventually one of us would be asked to leave.

I actually like Fox, though. It's quiet here. Or rather, I'm quiet here.

There are a couple of guys that I like at GFU right now, and they're both people that I could see being The One. The problem is that I have only talked to them a few times each and I don't know how to go about taking things further. Also, I'm fat and ugly and I don't think I'm at all desirable. I have no idea what I can do.

Ok so an earlier post said the were in love with an RA truth be told I am too but I'm talking about a girl RA I just see her all the time and my heart melts must be that firey red hair

I only went to the 80's dance for the snacks. #poor #hungry #collegestudent

Speaking of addictions, I get way too sucked into confessions pages like this way to easily.
Last time this happened, I got suspend from my high-school for a few days. It was a big fiasco.
For some reason, it's intensely exciting to be able to express an opinion I believe in, even if people are disgusted by me personally for it.
And at GFU it's even better because all the vitriol and contempt I sometimes see speaks volumes of hypocrisy between the opinions people truly harbor, and the practices they'd rather preach than practice.
Not that that applies to everyone. Most of you are very gracious and faithful.
Even if I don't believe in god and treat his concept like foolishness, it's still very inspiring to see people hold to their belief otherwise.
If I believed in god, I'd give prayers of thanks for the relatively safe environment at GFU, the opportunity to learn and grow at GFU, and the endless entertainment GFU brings me via all the wonderful and disgusting people.
In the face of boredom, sadness, anger, loneliness, and other general forms of darkness, the people of GFU, and by extension, the world, are my saving grace.

You are my God. And I guess that makes me a tiny part of my God too. That alone is what keeps me going.