I'm a girl, and my roommate gave me 50 dollars to swallow like 5 laxative pills last Thursday night. I survived the night and figured they did not have an effect. I then had Christian foundations first thing in the morning, and I felt a pressure building up. I thought it would pass by, but it didn't. I crapped my pants and had to ditch my panties in the Hoover bathroom. Sorry custodial staff.

I have major trust issues that inhibit me from being able to make close friends.

This happened before I came to Fox. My friend for years has been struggling with thoughts of suicide, but it has been revealed to me that at times that she just played it up for attention. When I had thoughts of suicide and was even harming myself, she completely abandoned me. I was all alone and attempted once. I started eating lunch alone on days I was actually hungry.

This is why I have trust issues and don't know how to communicate well with others. I still sit alone. Thankfully, I no longer want to commit suicide, but it would've been a lot easier if I had someone there to support me.

Sometimes, I get lonely and sad, but being a male in modern society means it's naturally hard for me to express myself coherently and without being perceived as negative or offensive to someone, and that it's even harder for me to cry, even when I'm alone because resistance to weakness has been and still is being subconsciously drilled into my psyche day-in and day-out.

This may seem pathetic, but I sometimes have to practice both crying and smiling. Smiling is a bit easier. I stand in front of my dorm-room mirror and make faces and laugh at myself for a while. I can't really smile without cause, so maybe I'll listen to one of my favorite comedians while I stand in front of the mirror, and try my best to capture the moment and the feeling I feel as a laugh.
I do this because my mom always told me that people think I'm pleasant when I smile.

Crying is a different story. More than just trying to capture a moment of feeling, I have to push myself past a psychological blockade just to be able to express the feeling. Something that is almost guaranteed to get me so emotionally built up quickly, enough for me to be on the verge of tears is an old Japanese Cartoon I found out about back when I was in middle/high school callad "Clannad" and "Clannad: After Story".
Those of you who've so much as heard of it, know exactly why I use this story as emotional build-up. The first season, "Clannad" is mostly lighthearted fun, as a guy representing the "every-man" goes through his high-school life, makes friends, deals with issues, and grows up.
The second part, the "after story" turns into a beautiful mystic tragedy, as the boy grows into a man, faces the hardships of adulthood, and loses nearly everything he loves(twice).

Because I have to follow a story and some emotional build-up to even be able to come to tears, I can only practice crying every few months or so, sometimes once a year.
Otherwise, all the sadness and loneliness I feel in that period of time due to the stresses of life, only turns into bitterness, hatred, and anger that after a while simply becomes apathy.

I wish I could practice crying in front of someone. That'd be the next level, after practicing this for so many years after realizing the psychological damage society has had on me as a human being.

After these five weeks here at Fox I have come to the conclusion that life is unbearable and no one would miss me if I was gone.. Thank you Fox for helping me to realize how worthless I truly am

Being gay in a Christian campus… yeah, I didn't expect to survive this far but being in a conservative environment has taught me many lessons that I will forever be grateful for.

Over the past couple of weeks I've been speaking to myself out loud. Its beginning to scare me since I'm not doing it on purpose. Anyone else speaks to themselves out loud on a constant rate?

I'm pretty upset with how A&P is. I've been told BY the teachers that they are trying to weed people out. Why when I'm paying $40k a year are they trying to weed me out. I'm doing as much as I can but with 4 other classes its hard to keep up on the heavy load they give.

I must confess. I will probably never get married. And that's ok to me. I don't need anybody else, I just need me.