I just want to buy a squirt gun, fill it with Holy Water, and squirt my promiscuous housemates with it every time they get frisky.

I don't have any confessions.

My dad used to joke, your so slow it takes you an hour to watch a 30 minute program....I believe he was predicting my life with fox-wifi.

I've hit the point in the semester that always happens, where it feels like in my personal life, and academically, a flood is pouring over me and i'm drowning in it.

I have Ebola

I'm looking for a 300+ level class for Spring semester. Who knows a good class that won't be too intense?

I miss her but I kinda also just miss making out with her.

Until I looked up the lyrics, I thought T-Swift was saying "bakers gonna bake" and was really sad that while she was looking for things to rhyme with shake, she passed up a golden opportunity to dance awkwardly around Meeting singing "Quakers gonna quake quake quake..."