I think I like being sad...what is wrong with me?

So im crushing hard on the RAR of the girls 3rd floor in Ed but how could she ever go for a lowly freshman guy like me xP #thestruggle

Sometimes I like and even comment on my own confessions so no one knows who I am. ;)

I had a nightmare that my ex had me in a choke hold again...i woke up barely able to breathe.

I hate that fear unconsciously has a grasp on my mentality. But i wish i didn't have to have these nightmares anymore. I feel like I'm on my own because when i try to talk to family they just tell me it's the past, but yet every time i have a nightmare i wake up crying and it's like reliving that day and then good memories of him pop in my head and it just makes it so much worse. He's made me scared to trust any males or get close to them.

I just feel like I'm all on my own....

I am an honest liar and it sucks

My ex girlfriend has a new boyfriend and I'm not sure how to handle it.

I self harmed and the last thing i remember i was crying and then I had a few marks on my arm... I try so hard to be optimistic about life and smile everyday because i wanna believe i can be happy. But then people bring up memories and it's like i break all over again.
I'm scared to even get near another male and it scares me just to talk to them. My ex laid his hands on me a couple weeks ago, he use to be the best best friend i had and within a single years time so much a lot had changed, but because of him I'm scared to get near another male I'm scared to converse and get to know one. And I'm even afraid to go visit friends and then run into him.

I know i can't live in fear but i don't know what's going on...

Halloween 2011 was the day that my mom went to the hospital for the 6th time in a week. The doctors had been saying everytime that it was a pinched nerve. It was not. A week later she was diagnosed with Guillian Barre syndrome. It has a really high survival rate. The majority of people come out with minimal to no paralysis. Her doctor... a specialist of 25 years... had said that my mother had the worst case he had ever seen. She started to get better I hadn't seen her In about 6 and a half weeks. She didn't make it. Christmas Eve 2011 4:15pm she took her last breath. What's the confession here: I attempted suicide hoping I could trade my life for hers. It didn't work. I miss you mommy. R.I.P.