I visited the campus the other day because I plan on attending in the Fall and I just have to say, I felt so welcomed! I fell head over heels in love with GFU and I cannot wait to be a Bruin!

When my mind and heart ache as one remembering a friendship now gone, I look back and wonder what I could have done, to change the final outcome. I was falling for her, and scaring her away. The darkness that is a part of my personality caused her fear. So for her own sake, and to better mine, I walked away. And now as I move through time, I look back and wish I had more time. To spend with her another day, to hear her laugh and watch those eyes sparkle with understanding. I miss those days. My mind and my heart ache when she is near, and I can always tell, even well before she can. But I have promises to keep, and so I walked away. To ache and hurt, far better upon myself, than her another day.

It's nights like tonight, when my family causes my anxiety level to go up 200%, that remind me how glad I am that I live on campus. If it wasn't for my job in my hometown, I would never come back every weekend.

My heartbreak has lasted long enough to the point that it's almost as long as the relationship was. I don't think I initially realized how deeply and truly I really loved my ex, because even now she still has a place in my heart. I didn't know I'd feel as though I lost part of myself to her if she left me. The worst part is knowing almost beyond the shadow of a doubt that she will never come back to me, knowing that she's way over me and it's all the past. The best part is what I've learned about love and loss. Like it says in Proverbs, it's worth guarding your heart.

I am not very open about this, but i think the people who do know that I am a non-believer misunderstand frequently what i mean by this. Most often I hear them and occasionally pastors state that people like me are not followers of God because we have suffered a great tragedy or have been personally offended by believers. They say that if only we would look to Jesus as an example and not judge him by his followers, we would be more fulfilled. I think what they do not realize is that I do not disbelieve God because of his followers - there are good and bad people in every religion - I disbelieve him because I am judging him by his own character. After reading the Bible, I find myself even less likely to believe. I read about the things he has done and i find him too temperamental for my taste - which is not to say he is necessarily bad, just that it is impossible to say he is entirely benevolent. Jesus, with his talk about forgiveness and eternal reward, just sort of struck me as sounding too much like a car salesmen - because if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. I know people are going to say that I cannot judge him by my earthly standards, but if I cannot, then i also cannot praise him by my earthly standards either.

Man in the midst of all the rant on the ASC, I'd just like to give a shoutout to the football guys. Specifically, Kale has always been positive and encouraging, and Lawrence has been a great classmate and someone I look up to as far as Christian character. Y'all haters keep hatin' on these big boys but you know all them gonna do big things in the future!

This is what I am imagining Robin Baker was thinking when he decided to bring a football team to George Fox: (Spoken in the best Robin Baker voice I could muster) "We need more men walkin around here with football helmets, and less wearin fucking scarves! ... More MAScots, less AScotts."

(Disclaimer I do not approve of this mentality, but critiquing it.)

soooo...tonight, lip sync was going on and i think the best performer out of all of the groups was Jake Ryan! HE JUST HAD IT GOING ON (;