I feel so out of place here. Brown hair, brown eyes, brown skin. Mostly, everywhere I see, I see blonde hair, blue eyes, super skinny, tall guys and girls. I feel like I don't belong here.

The funniest thing I have realized while being at fox is how many people drink/party that you would never expect

So first off let me make one thing clear- I am super happy for Bekah and the awareness and conversation she's started about mental illness. This is is in no way anything against her or what her message has achieved. In fact, I am really for it and inspired by it, as I am also battling a really tough battle with depression and anxiety. I have a tattoo that I got for myself to symbolize my fight with depression and anxiety, but... it is hidden. I wanted it to stay that way. However a little piece of me feels sad over it. I guess maybe I'm jealous. I'm jealous that someone could be so brave as to talk about their battle like she did while I cover mine up. (And I guess this hits closer to home since I know who she is.) I've been fighting this fight against mental illness for what seems like my whole life. I guess part of me is upset because that if I think about it... If I were have to made a similar post when I got my tattoo... Nobody would have cared. I think that's one of the most crippling things to me about living with my own mental illness- is knowing deep down not many people actually care about me and this battle. I don't need a viral post. That isn't what I'm saying. But I feel like people- my friends and family- would only think I want attention if I posted that. I don't want attention. I don't want pity. I just want someone to actually care. Good on you Bekah for bringing awareness to this. The world needs people like you. I don't want you to ever feel bad about sharing what you have (and will continue to). Not ever. I just wish I myself could do something other than hide and try to survive on my own.

I seriously need more friends who will actually go out and do fun things with me.

All these nice pickup trucks on campus make me so jealous... I need to find me a guy who drives one of those. Where you at boys?

The worst part about going back to Fox is the wi-fi. I just had my connection drop for the first time of what is going to be many.

I liked yik yak for awhile, but to be honest, some of the people on there piss me off. The way they joke and laugh about people's beliefs, or try to pressure others into having the same beliefs as themselves. The way they judge victims of abuse, people having relationship issues, or make fun of anyone having any other issue in their life. It disgusts me how rude people can be when they're anonymous.

The BEST part about going back to Fox is the Confessions page picking back up again. Ok, well, maybe not the best thing, but I like it.