I can talk to spiders

The one thing I think fox forgets to teach, how to be known when you graduate. Instead, you're known as that one guy from George fox. But not by name.

I feel like half the guys in the school are obsessed with #5 on the volleyball team

I'm obsessed with spiders.

We apparently have a school fight song that the band has to learn and I think it's just sad.

As much as preventing sexual assault is a worthy goal, I think it's ridiculous that we have to do the Haven course again. I keep hoping some kind of organized resistance will form. Do you think they'll get the message if we all don't do it? Or should we do a petition or something?

I need prayer. I'm struggling a lot with sexual sin right now, and this is something I never thought I'd ever struggle with in my entire life. Usually this is literally the opposite of my typical struggle, but now that I have a boyfriend with whom I have a sexual relationship, I feel conflicted. We bring each other closer to God in every other way, so I tend to rationalize this one sin in our relationship as "fine" or "permissible" even when I know in my heart it's not right. Furthermore, bluntly put, sex feels so damn good that it's really hard to just stop or something. I don't even want to stop, but I want to want to stop, if that makes any sense. I literally just want God to create a desire in me to follow his law in every way because right now, I'll admit, I don't. I know all the advice people would try to give me like, "just talk to your boyfriend about it" or "discuss it with a spiritual mentor" or "break off the relationship since obviously it's not right if it leads you away from God in this way". But talking to him or others about it first requires the desire within me to not have sex. And I really do not have that desire in me right now. That's the whole point of this post. And the whole thing about it not being right if it causes me to stray from his law in any way doesn't sit right with me. Like sure, but then also what about the fact that I actually truly (weirdly enough) have been feeling God's presence even more in my life, his hand, and his spirit, and I've even been talking to him more. I've been asking him why I'm so prone to failure. Unlike in the past, when I'd turn away from God, trying to hide from him like Adam and Eve did after they ate the apple, I am running toward him knowing I'm not perfect. But not telling anyone about my struggle is killing me, and I'm tired of fighting myself on my own. Like I said from the start, I need prayer. I need help. I'm human. I'm broken. And I'm so, so weak.

Dear roommate. I just wanted to let you know that I see them. The casual glances when I take my shirt off or bend over. And it excites me so much.