I like bad bruins that's my fucking problem

I am throwing a huge party next weekend at my house.

To the guy with the long curly brown hair sitting in the corner of Coffee Cottage reading at around noon on October third, I thought you were really cute and would love to get to know you but was too nervous to talk to you. Sincerely, the girl with the red lips and green beanie sitting on the other side of the room.

I use to always think nothing ever happened here. Then I looked at the crime report thing they sent us the email about and there are actually a lot of people getting caught doing drugs and alcohol.

Can we call the back of Bauman the apple orchard? Because all I ever see back there are macs.

I am too tired to sleep right now

I want to take a dump in every building on campus

I think the security guard who plays football is a hotty