#2032 I broke up with my boyfriend recently because he couldn't get over the fact that I had slept with a previous boyfriend before we even met. I don't understand his problem because he's slept with three girls before me.

#2034 My roommate came back to the room drunk as fuck once and once he passed out, I took that as a prime opportunity to suck his dick.

#2031 Whenever I go to the caf, I always put my keys and my ID card on the table near the other seats. I'm just hoping no one will notice I have no one to eat with me.

#2028 I love ass so much it brings a tear to my eye.

#2030 I was once drugged at a party, and when a guy was coming onto me my friends took me back (I have a boyfriend), and called an ambulance because of how disoriented I was (when I was physically able to walk fine etc). Ambulance took me to the hospital, where they plopped me on a bed and let me sit. Did absolutely no testing. Police gave me a minor (for a pretty low amount in my system), with absolutely no investigation into what I would think is weird (mentally gone, didn't know my name, but physically just fine and capable...symptoms of date rape drugs?). I had to meet with the big guy at school, where I explained the situation and apologized because I did knowingly have a couple of drinks. He told me that if I was drugged, then it was my fault and my problem because I went to a party, and now I have to pay for it with community service etc. Way to go, Winona. Thank the lord for good friends.

#2027 Yesterday my roommate was playing Sims and she asked me what the easiest way to kill in the game was, so I told her that removing the pool ladder was easy. When I looked over to watch what she was doing I noticed that the sim she had in the pool was the one that she made of me... I don't know how I should feel about this...

#2026 I was getting head when her mom called and asked her what she was doing.. I guess sucking a BBC wasn't the right answer because now her parents think I'm her pimp. I'm just a brotha getting his dicked sucked jeez

#2024 I was 20 minutes late to class because I was hooking up with a TA from one of my other classes. #NoShame