#629 Me and my friends shoved tampons dipped in jack in our assholes...... I've never been fucked up so quick in my life

#628 True life: My roommate is a cereal killer.

#627 I know I've stayed up too late when I start to think the comics in my textbooks are funny. It happens a lot...

#626 Every time I meet a new girl on campus, my first thought is: Are you my future wife?

#633 So after (once again) getting my heartbroken today, my friend told me she thinks I have the worst luck with guys.... I think she may be right... I've even been friend zoned. Just looking for a nice guy to watch movies with who actually wants a relationship, but after these last couple of times I'm really losing faith in ever finding that.

#625 I really don't understand why guys have some obsession with large breasts. I personally think big are gross. I'm all about those A's and B's.

#624 to be completely honest, I am sick of being "one of the guys"

I think it's making me undatable

#623 People with two first names freak me out. (As in their last name could also be a first name.)