Why was I the only one sobbing in Chris Jordan's lecture? We need to change our future. Let's spread more love for the planet and save the baby birds of Midway Island.

I think I chose the wrong major... Almost all of my professors are still single and so now I am wondering if I will ever find a wife...

To the person complaining about bikes, realize that some of us have about 5 min to get from one of end of campus to the other and so we literally have no choice to bike from class to class. Also, as long as you aren't stupid, bikes and people can share pathways fairly easily

I would throw it back for any single member of the men's soccer team. Good lord.

Can someone tell me why the hell "if you choose not to drink, you're choosing your education to come first" was written in chalk on the hello walk?! News flash: kids that drink can also be great students. To whomever wrote (or supported) that action; you can take your judgemental, misinformed, holier-than-thou attitude and shove it up your ass

Found out half way through the day that I had a hole the size of a quarter on the butt of my leggings. So, you're welcome whoever got to witness that today.

Brunette Cornerstone Cutie, your blue bike is almost as fresh as you are. Daaaaayum

TRUE nerd problems: when you go to adult fan fiction's web page to masturbate, but just can't because "Hermione would never suck off Draco Malfoy!!!! And, sh*t neither would Harry! Nowhere does J.K. Rowling imply that being bitten by a werewolf makes you a necrophiliac! What sick individuals are writing this blasphemy!?!?!?"