I'm gonna need a theasaurus to be able to keep up with that hot dog place on water street.

Too drunk to google. In no condition to be doing that shit

After researching my symptoms for hours it really seems as if I have caught ebola.. But I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want to be quarantined and I hope they will just go away on their own.. I was on a flight next to this African guy and I really am losing my mind. Help!

so i took a shit in schneider and now my ass is fucking raw because the toilet paper is like sandpaper.

Tired of seeing things for voting.. If it were up to me I would just trash the whole democracy thing. It's obviously not working. Democrats and Republicans don't get along, so why did you have to put them together? And as if our votes actually count... It's all decided by the "electoral colleges." Whoever those guys are. By the people for the people? Gimme a break.

Curly ponytail boy at Crest: I see you all the time and I've had a crush on you since last year. Still lookin good, keep doin you (;

When I eat more than 1200 calories a day I feel like a disgusting person

Who was that blonde hair guy that was dancing on the bench at Brothers last night at Mug Club? He was a pretty good dancer and he was really cute!