If your initials are BR then you're totally awesome

To the girl in my Spanish 301 class. I think you're super sexy. You're name is like Bethany or something.. I stare at you all the time.

I only text my roommate when I want to find out when he will be home so I can safely jerk off.

That awkward moment when... you walk past the bathroom the Innocent Men are warming up in, someone opens the door to go in, and you see some of them shirtless..

Prayer is like masturbation it feels good to you and does nothing for the person you are thinking about. and that is how I became a registered sex offender!

Fifth element came and sang in GOVS hall last week. As my heart melted, I could not keep my eyes off the blonde in the blue plaid shirt :) thank you for making my night.

to the person who complained that I am a creeper for walking around the 4th floor of the library looking to see who is studying. I actualy dont give a damn who is studying, I do sit down. what I am doing is figuring where to sit I usually just choose to take a seat.I also have a aspergers which means I cant sit for very long so I often get up and walk around the entire floor then go sit down!

I thought everyone in Austria talked like Arnold Schwarzenegger until I met an actual Austrian.