Got so drunk last night I woke up cuddling a balloon and was covered in siily string. No ragrets.

I don't feel like I need a relationship right now, nor do I want one. I'm happy being single. I have so many possibilities and options on what to do with my life. I've got no one to tie me down or tell me who I can and can't talk to. I have an occasional cuddle buddy and close friends of both sexes. Life is good. If the right person comes along, I might consider a relationship, but I'm not actively looking for one. Just some advice to those out there who are all "Woe is me I'm single" just enjoy it while it lasts. Be yourself, love your friends, focus on school and meeting new people. The happier you are single, the happier you will be in a relationship.

I don't give a fuck if you believe in creationism or evolution. As long as you don't spend needless time trying to convert me to your side, I'm sure you're a nice person. Now just shut, up and let me watch Samurai Jack!

I secretly want a girl who's down with the Birmingham Booty Call. It's where you put your woman's cell phone on vibrate, stick it up her ass, and as you are having sex, call her phone, have her shit it out, answer it, and talk dirty to you as you cum on her face.

I still check every corner of the dorm showers just to make sure a spider isn't waiting for me.

I'm not racist, I just think black dicks are gross looking...

I'm not sure if I'm used to the cold weather because I've braced through it so many years or if the cold has just numbed my nerves throughout my life.

I'm a 20 year old virgin, who has never been kissed. and to be honest I'm terrified I'll never be loved and end up alone.