My boyfriend recently got a phone update and has been sending emojis with almost every text, which is so annoying. But I'm going to go along with it because he reeeally likes using the bumblebee, and I don't want to ruin his fun.

What About Bob is my favorite summer movie. "Take a vacation, a vacation from my problems, you bet I will."

As a lesbian I feel like I will never find another girlfriend that is alcohol & drug free because they are hard to find. Especially at college.

This one goes out to that meatheaded jackass who made a scene because I asked your girlfriend if she was single at the bar the other night. Yes, I can see why you went off the handle when I asked her if she was single, but did you really have to yell "back the hell off asshole" to my face and start screaming at me and making a scene like only a complete dipshit would when you were 3 inches from me? First off, I had no idea you two were even dating, if I had I would of just moved on and that would of been the end of it. Secondly, you could have just calmly told me that she was your girlfriend instead of screaming like a damned Cro Magnon neanderthal at me when I was sitting right there in front of you. Thirdly, you're lucky I didn't have too much to drink at that point or else I would of asked you how the fuck you can turn around to wipe your own ass from all that muscle mass you try so hard to build up. I understand about being defensive of your woman and all and I can respect that, but holy shit dude all I did was ask her one simple question. It's not like I told her to forget you and come back to my apartment and have stupidly insane sex until she couldn't walk straight anymore. Why don't YOU back the hell off the roids so you can have some sense in your head the next time you decide to go completely fucking apeshit and try to actually talk like a civilized person would to another over a simple misunderstanding, you Jersey Shore wannabe looking motherfucker. Rant over.

I have 10-15 stolen construction cones and signs in my basement. There wasn't much to do in my hometown so my best friend and I got baked and took things.

I really hate going to Wal-Mart...but whenever I go there and Carmen is working, I hate it a little less!

I'm pretty sure I like my friends at school more than my friends at home.

I shouldn't have these feelings towards my uncle