I would really like to apologize to the bouncer at the pickle tonight (7/30 Wednesday), i was the bitch trying to find her phone after bar close when I said fuck you.. Im sorry. Can I buy you pizza or something? I found my phone in my car and feel really shitty ):

So many people seem so down and hard on themselves. If you don't like something about your life change it and stop complaining. Be happy not sad. Find joy in life, not tragedy. I'm not saying everyone needs to be happy all the time, but if you're not happy with something in your life do something about it. I know there's depression and other mental things and that everyone has their own shit to deal with. But if people keep living life so down and depressed, you're just setting yourself up for failure. I've done it, I lived it, I've been there. I'm not trying to sound like an asshole, but you have to break out of that robotic state of sad and hopeless mindset. In highschool I hated who I was and almost everything about me. I was fine until I watched someone almost as close as my mom die of cancer. I was sad everyday and cried myself to sleep most nights. My whole family was sad about it. It was like we were all on our own little islands of isolation. One night I was tired and stressed, and just in the worst place if ever been. All I could think was "death is the only thing I want... Something's wrong with me since all I want to do is die". But it was the truth. That night I cut and it was weird, I felt so happy. This was weird. I had the power again, power to make myself happy. I didn't stop but it didn't consume my life either. I felt suicidal on an off the rest of my highschool life. But eventually I learned to be who I wanted. I let go of the shy scared person I was. I talked and smiled at people. I became myself and if people don't like who I am, it's not my problem. I am me and I'm happy to be me. Some days I don't wan to live still, but I know I'll get past those thoughts and that day, and wake up in the morning happy and free. I I'm sad about a wrecked relationship I decide to let it go. Take a deep breath, smile, and think of the good and bad, and how we are both better off with out each other. If I'm mad about a test score I do better next time. If I don't like something I focus on things I like. Let go of people and things and past that makes me sad. Nothing's perfect, but it's all good. I still hate having to I to funerals. And they still make me squish down to that blue state of nothing and emptiness, but it'll pass and there will be a rainbow and smiles, and you will laugh again. So smile and move on. Let go of what had hurt you and hold on to things and people you love. Bad days pass, but make it through, to the days that make you smile and remember how awesome life is :)

My hip stings, skin ripped by his nails... and all I want is that touch again...

I had to laugh at this...if a girl is a slut for being good at sex or even having sex then I'm losing hope in the world. GOD FORBID a woman is good at sex oh man. To the guy who called that girl a slut for "being good at everything" with sex, I hope you enjoy your "un-slutty" sex life in which you probably lack in the first place.

As I approach my final year of college I have no desire to make new friendships. I am content with my friends. I am not rejecting the idea of making new relationships but I am not desperate as the first year. I feel secure. It is so unexpected.

I feel sad that a friend has an eating disorder but instead calls it heart disease in order to gain others' pity. I know she could probably have the attention regardless of what she calls her disease. But I can't stand pity parties. I have no idea how to support her.

I feel like I'm always offending or upsetting you, even though I'm not trying to. I like you a lot but you need to chill on me a bit here. I make mistakes just like everybody else. But I'm afraid to tell you this because it might upset you.

I'm a stoner with no bong. When I go to buy one should I refer to it as a bong? Or is that frowned upon? Should I say water pipe? I'm most likely going to get it at truckers.