"That awkward moment when someone at your church asks why you're walking funny.. And you can't tell them why.." #Awk #BfBangsHard

Got shit faced at a dorm party, Ironically when I woke up the next morning there was shit all over my face.. #HowDoesThatEvenHappen

I now know a stripper who has Carpe Diem written across the back of her thighs.

You know it was a rough Friday night when you wake up and there's two people in your room mates bed, one in your's, and you're on the floor.

Gave my best friend CPR as I was butt chugging in the staff parking lot.

Michelle who is working at the check-out at McAlisters in Arena Dining is a stone-cold fox that has an amazing ass and makes my pants tighter than a drum! Yowzah! She is uptight and outtasight and I would gladly and eagerly prod poke and lick every inch of her beautiful body from today until sometime in mid-February 2014, at which point I would drink some water and eat some food before jumping right back into it! She is enough to make the blind to see!

I wish i could just meet a girl who wants to be my gf. She doesnt have to be the hottest. I just want someone to talk to, someone that wants to hug me, maybe cuddle, just someone to be with you know. Someone who likes me for me.

Is it possible to smoke so much weed that you stay high forever?