#158 I masturbate at least once a day

#157 Do hipsters realize one day they'll be mainstream suits like everyone else? Better yet, realize that they might never grow out of it and be adult douchetools?

#156 The more I listen to her, the more I genuinely enjoy Miley Cyrus.

#155 Okay, this one is kind of long, but I want to post it because it's been tearing me up and I need to unload it like a feral cat on my face. Over the summer I had another psychotic episode and thought my friends and family were being targeted one by one by merciless hitmen and/or gangsters who were out to get me because of my past. Long story short, I worked unwittingly for white collar gangsters who at one point threatened to kill me and my family. That was about 8 years ago and I've been looking over my shoulder ever since. In June I "realized" the health clinic that I go to was a front and the people who worked there were secretly killing people. I also knew that the local news anchors were communicating hidden codes to me and telepathically sensed that I was altering the entire world with my mind, Akira-style. My folks took me to their lakehouse and I was sure malevolent forces were using them to drop me off in the middle of the woods so that I can be silently assassinated. I stayed locked away in a nearby cabin, downing nothing but vanilla protein shakes for three or four days (started losing track of time at that point). In my mind, my folks were mob bosses and were trying to get rid of me. My feelings of being betrayed by the same people I wanted to protect caused a great deal of emotional conflict in me so I attempted to think of ways that I might be able to rescue them and myself and return to normal. There was only one thing I could do: swallow a handful of my medication so that my death might result in them being spared. BIT of a messiah complex, I know. Also, a family member very close to me died recently and that was also fucking with me. Anyway, that's what I did. I didn't tell anyone about it and I made sure to do it at night so that I could pass it off as maybe dying of natural causes. Long story short, I was knocked out for the night but awoke, totally fine as usual, in my bed the next morning. I went from being sure that I was worm food to having a new lease on life. My family and doctors, the saints that they are, got me stabilized on new medication and I can think more clearly now. In the end, I never told my family about my suicide attempt.

#154 I'm non-violent but textbook publisher's who don't allow students to purchase an access code separately, instead making them purchase a NEW hard copy of the book just to get the code, make me want to punch something or someone in the face really freaking hard. I very much dislike shelling out $200 to buy a book that comes with a eBook copy just to get a stupid code. Screw you Cengage publishing.

#153 In love with someone of a different religion. To me not a big deal, to our parents and particularly mine, huge deal. Don't want to break their hearts but I love this person so much.

#143 I'm the only child of my widowed PTSD mother. If you asked her about me she'd say I'm not so bad, but when I left the house I took everything she had. I took her silver and her golden rings and her van, I even took her aprons and her cupboard pots and pans! I'm a bad boy don't fuck with me bitches.

#152 Half the time I go to the gym to work out. The other half I go to people watch to remind myself why I'm working out. Hotties be hot.