#1205 So my buddy and I were totally tripping balls on some great acid, and who ever gave my friend a cigarette for his lighter made the night. All so cats love dudes on acid like those fucks can tell and they know what's up. And hot girl you're really hot.

#1204 I hate my roommates because they're always trying to get me to get off video games and go clubbing with them and meet girls. I caved in and went with them the other day and I honestly had a terrible time. I hate the big crowd party scene, all the girls I talked to were just sluts, they played terrible music, and they still insist that I go and try again with them. They just can't get it through their thick heads that some people just ain't about that life and I'm perfectly content with just being single and staying home playing games like Zelda and WoW all day. It's not just fat unhygenic neckbeards that do that.

#1203 I believe homosexuality is wrong and I'm an atheist.

#1202 That awkward moment when you get matched up with your ex on a dating website.

#1201 Literally, I just want someone to cuddle with me and watch American Horror Story. Guys, however, stay away from me like the flu.

#1200 Sage, You have an amazing singing voice and I wish I could get to know you. ;)

#1199 I just wish.. I wish SO much that I didn't invest myself emotionally in people I barely know. It's like an iron filling wishing it wasn't attracted to magnets. It's one of the few things that I feel I have little control over, and I'm not sure I want to... even though my philosophy is to regulate my emotions like Democrats regulate industry.

Regardless, my mind seems to be doing some regulating for me. Pessimism seems to be my psyche's natural defense against this sort of attachment... because in order to have this attachment you need hope. I'm hoping (ha) that there's something ELSE that I can take out of the "attachment" formula as a replacement for hope, because to be honest, I MISS hope.

In light of this pessimism I've been able stay somewhat aloof to make myself appear more desirable - both for platonic and romantic relationships. When push comes to shove and I'm really close to becoming part of a group, I'm scared to make a final, concerted effort (that would forever seal myself as forever a part of their clique?) because it feels like all I would be able to manifest is my desperation for their friendship - if I do that, THEN all I would get is fakery to prolong the inevitable because they "don't want to hurt my feelings" or some other bullshit. If I keep playing it cool however, whatever sticking power I had with that group of people I had fades and I'm back to square one.

At the snails pace that it takes to forge good relationships, I hope my starving psyche will be able to sustain itself and not be permanently damaged (and not sabotage me in my good faith efforts to build friendships). Now excuse me as I beat my head against a wall.

#1198 My dating advice for the future is this: chase after Jesus and date whatever girl can keep up!