#2199 Hey if anyone is looking for an apartment, I'm offering mine. I was stupid enough to sign a lease I knew I had no real income to keep. Now I don't want to hurt my credit, so I'm trying to pass on this shitty lease to someone else.

#2198 frugal friends are the worst friends.

#2196 I want to make more friends on campus and in my classes, but not into sports and Greek life. I'm a metal he's who loves going to shows.

#2197 Last semester I went to 3 classes religiously every day and always went to the teacher for every question I had. Even then after all that work 2 of them gave me a low C and one gave me a D, and they still expect me to be nice to them whenever I run into them the next semester. What the fuck? I'm not going to respect some lowlife teachers for giving me shit grades after all that work I put in, whereas the lazy assholes right next to me gloat about how they never have to work in classes, yet they'll always get good grades on tests. Fuck that.

#2195 To the blonde girl in English 1310 at 12
The kid in the red hot chili peppers shirt thinks you're cute

#2194 Whenever I flush the toilet, if the water doesn't start going down immediately I think it's going to overflow and start panicking

#2193 My girlfriend one tied me up under the impression that we were about to do some kinky shit. That didn't happened. She started tickling me non stop the point where I was laughing so hard I blacked out and pissed all over the bed and myself. We broke up a week later.

#2192 Thor 2 fucking sucked.