#2509 I want to fuck Miley Cyrus so badly. If the day ever comes when my cock gets inserted into her glorious whisker box, whoever pulls it out will be crowned King Arthur.

#2508 I fuck tons of random sluts anywhere and I have a profile picture of me either smoking or flipping you off so others think I'm a badass, for no apparent reason other than to create a false sense of security of which I could never retain on my own. The truth is any random fucker could probably beat my ass, so I just pretend to be a tough guy.

#2505 I once got so shitfaced drunk at a unt party that I shat my pantaloons, and the host of the party didn't have any toilet paper, so I did what any normal human would do, I wiped my ass with a towel that was there, then hid it behind the toilet.

#2504 I liked you better before you were naked on the internet.

#2507 There's this Hispanic senior in one of my classes, who walks around constantly acting/talking like he's THE shit. I think his names Rody? Never catch it... Anyway, whats-your-face, almost everything you say pisses me off. You just aren't as intelligent as you think, sorry. I know this is rash but, it just had to be said. Hope this served as reality check.
And get new glasses, you look like a kindergartener who picks his nose and eats it.

#2503 My ex and I broke up a while ago and we're both seeing other people, but we're fucking again. We do not get along when dating, but no one else knows how to push all my buttons so right. I wish I could just keep him as my long-term fuck buddy for life. I've already decided if I ever get married I want him to fuck me in my wedding gown before I walk down the aisle.

#2506 There's this one guy in my morning and noon psych classes. He's kind of cute, and I'm pretty sure he's into pokemon and mlp if the pins on his black bag are anything to go by. I really wanna approach him since he always seems to be alone all the time, and I'm not nervous about it but he always has a look on his face that is either depression or anger and that's very off putting and confusing and makes it hard to read him. It pokes at my curiosity.

#2502 I might be in love with the guy in the gray suit and nose ring from the UNT Rap video. I had spotted him at the beginning of the semester, and I could not help but daydream about him. I saw him in the union portable today and I freaked, he's so attractive and he has this timid, yet confident, quirky presence to him. We made eye contact and I looked away immediately. Who are you, beautiful creature?