#5344 A girl and I met at a party and she asked if I wanted to spend some alone time with her.

I told her that I, another girl, don't swing that way.

Actually, I do swing that way. I just turned her down because she was really fat.

#5343 I should be doing a take-home midterm right now, but it was too difficult and drinking was more fun. Cheers.

#5342 I have this fantasy of two girl friends dressing me up as a girl, shaving my entire body, doing my hair and makeup, and keeping me as a slave on a leash.

#5341 I once put feces in my roommates pillow case.

#5340 Being completely honest I am relatively attractive. Not super hot but definitely good looking. I'm tall, very smart, witty, and caring. I have flaws just like anyone else does, but I try to fix them when I can. I just don't understand why every time I try to pursue a woman I get turned down. The women I pursue are, in my opinion, very attainable. I understand that if someone doesn't want to have a relationship with me it's not my fault. Still it's very frustrating always getting shot down, and I just felt like venting. If you have any advice for me I'd appreciate it.

#5339 All my life I've been a creep, a douchebag, and a creepy douchebag. My life's goal now is to be a professional clown because at least they get invited to parties.

#5338 So Ebola only spreads through bodily fluids, eh? Hmm... well, it looks like loneliness may save us after all! You may commence your rejoicing.

Alone.

Just like how you will die.


...but without Ebola (probably).

#5337 Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I found out there is a portion of the student population who think Socialism is a good idea. Congratulations UNT, you have just graduated to a whole new level of stupid!