My boyfriend and I want a threesome sooooo bad... what do we have to do to find another girl to join?? Are there any girls open to this sort of thing, or am I just a kinky motherfucker? Lol

I was gonna write a funny, well thoughtout confession..........but then I got high

A majority of the time, I feel like a seventy year woman. I don't have a phone, and facebook is the only social network site I use, just to keep in contact with my family. I'm not even entirely sure what this "reddit" or "chive" is. I see things on facebook and I'm like what does that even mean?? Like Twerk? I have no idea. I'm only twenty years old, but I feel like my brain is crystallized. In a way I used to feel left out, someone told me "You're missing out on life" because I don't have a pinterest. I used to feel jealous of other people who had people to text and call and take pictures, because I thought that was college life. And maybe it is. But then I realized when I walk around campus, I'm actually looking up, at the sky, the squirrels chasing each other, anything other than my phone. I see people run into each other all the time because they are looking down at their phones. And that was when I realized all of you are missing out on life. All of you who use twitter, instagram, snapchat, ugh so many sites... We miss out on all these people in our lives, because we are focused on people who are there virtually. We miss out on all these things we could do, because we watch a video of it instead. I am proud to say that I do not have a phone, and after this post to confessions, I will no longer have a facebook. I encourage all of you, to get out from behind your computer, so this confessions page will ACUTALLY be filled with confessions, instead of lame played out critics of society. And so this isn't hypocritical: my friends and I set fire to our dorm room last year by accidentally lighting rubber cement.

Life is much more than sex, drugs, and alcohol. Be proud and grateful to be alive.

To the girl with the gray shirt I made eye contact with at the rec center earlier today (Tuesday): I like your face.

Once when I was ten I was wondering the house by myself. My babysitter, Natalie, was texting some boy she met at Lake Highlands High School out by the pool while I stayed inside and built legos. I hated the pool. Mostly I thought about what it would be like to strap Natalie to our dining room table and tickle her tiny wet feet still wet from the pool with a silver hairbrush. She would laugh and wriggle and she'd want to get out but I wouldn't let her. At the thought of this my tiny prick began to rise and Happy, the family German Shepard, began to take notice of me breathing deep and hard in the corner. Happy, too, began to get aroused. He came over to me and nuzzled me under my chin and I immediately knew what to do. I took my elastic pants on and let Happy have his way with me. It hurt at first but I learned to love it. I learned to love it and then one day, many moons later, I slit Happy's throat. I jerked off after. I came and came and came. I'm afraid I'll never feel as good as I did that night ever again.

The "friend zone" isn't a real thing. You're attracted to somebody who isn't attracted to you. This is life.

To whoever is practicing cheer outside of traditions hall, y'all fucking suck. Being a base is not that hard, and your fliers have awful god damn form. Don't even get me started on your tumbling passes.