I took a dump at the Blb and didnt flush

Dear anonymous friend of mine who bought me 14 pounds of Omaha Steak and had it delivered to my door:
Thank you so much!!! Though I have no idea who the Hell you are, thanks. I don't know how the fuck I'm gonna eat all that steak, but I guess I'll find a way.

I'd totally give the D to my lesbian friend. I swear she flirts with me.

I just wanted to say, to all the women out there who have used and abused, yet rejected men who cared about you, FUCK YOU. I hope you all end up marrying some bastard who doesn't give a fuck about you and I hope he beats you to shit every night even when he isn't drunk. Then maybe you'll see that you shouldn't have friendzoned that one poor guy who only wanted some reciprocated love. You bitches!

I'd totally give the D to my lesbian friend. I swear she flirts with me.

i once got drunk and kicked some of the cars outside of kerr hall

One thing that pisses me off to no end is when people say, "Oh I wanna gauge my ears!"
No sweetheart, you want to STRETCH your ears, and don't correct me either because I have personal friends who pierce as a profession and they too get pissed off when someone is a smartass towards them.
For those who don't know, the term "gauge" is used for the size of the jewerly. Example, most of you lovely ladies with pierced ears have an 18g sized earring.
Please research, and STOP staying "gauging" for the love of God.

Christina N. is so beautiful. I see you posting on these statuses all the time and I can't help but hope I could have a chance with you. I saw you on campus recently and all I can say is that you're way more beautiful in person than you are in your pictures. Had I not been running late for class, I think I just may have had the courage to walk up to you and tell you how beautiful I thought you were.