bitches love sosa

david j. please stop using the pick up line "its like ashley judd but more hot and not her, im david, not ashley."
That is the corniest thing on earth, and it does not want to make me sleep with you.

There's no such thing as bisexuals. There's straight people. There's gay people. And there's straight people who get talked into blowing crafty gay people. Insecure nerds beware! The gay are preying upon you. 

I feel like some guys flirt with me on a daily bases. They have that awkward smile and crack corny jokes. Odd thing...I know half of you have an STD.

I am a Christian white mut dating a Muslim exchange student from Saudi Arabia, and he is the sweetest, smartest, most chivalrous guy I have ever been with. 'Merican fellas: take notes.

I'm confessin' that I love you, tell me, do you love me too? I'm confessin' that I need you, honest I do, need you every moment. In your eyes I read such strange things, but your lips deny they're true, will your answer really change things, making me blue? I'm afraid some day you'll leave me, saying "Can't we still be friends?"

I can't wait to move into a new apartment, roommate free. It's not that I don't love my roommate, we just have too many differences.

Denton is better than Austin. It's not even a debate. 6th Street may be better, but it's way more expensive. SXSW sucked this year, 35D was better. Come at me bro.