One time my friend pissed me off, so I fed my boogers to her chihuahua

i wake up, in the mornin' and grab my gat. RE-cock my shit befo' i grab my hat. then i page my niggas, Fiend and Mac cause, we be strapped like the men in black and uh, one time don't bother to me, already paid my dues for a robbery, just cashed a check for two hundred g's, left them hoes alone to pursue my dreams. :-D

You gay guys on grindr are all assholes! Get the fuck over yourselves. Stop thinking you're hot shit when most of you don't respond. And for the ones that do stop being so rude. Just because we're gay doesn't mean you have to be so pretentious.

I have always daydreamed that if there was an on-campus shooter killing everyone around me, especially people I care about, I would sneak up behind him and jump on his back like a monkey and bite the fuck out of his neck so he can bleed to death. I would do everything I can to bite his fingers off so he can't use them. Then bash his head against the hard floor until he suffers brain trauma. Don't fuck with me.

U-G-L-Y you don't need no alibi

Group that won the talent show on march 27th, you're so sexy

What does the Easter bunny and eggs have to do with Jesus? WTF?

I did my taxes. Did you?