#5892 Why do so many men pretend that they're "nice guys"? Go ahead, be an asshole. Own it.

#5891 So I woke up and grabbed the pair of jeans on the floor and put them on. Later today, I was about to use the bathroom when I notoced the fly zipper was smaller than usual. Turns out I grabbed my girlfriend's jeans. #rekt

#5877 Teri Bassinger, we had two classes together and ROTC. You are a beautiful girl and I would love to go on a date with you.

#5890 Chest hair is so hot!

#5889 I once shoved a banana up my ass and jerked off. I never came so fucking hard in my life!

#5887 I paid a homeless man to shit in a box, gift wrapped it, and sent it to my ex for Christmas.

#5886 Viktor K. is adorable and his hair is everything.

#5885 I love my boyfriend but I've cheated on him twice already. Sometimes I feel like I'm too young to be in a relationship and lose control and other times I want to be with him forever. I'm so scared he's going to find out and leave me. They were big mistakes and I really regret doing it :(