Girl who sits in front during my Intermediate MicroEcon class with Dr. Raynor. You are freaking gorgeous. ;)

I have a respectable, professional job...and listen to death metal as I work from my computer.

I had an Italian friend who swore he'd eat his girlfriend out while she was on the rag. He called it "Clam in Marinara sauce."

There's this really cute blonde I have serious thirst for. I see her all the time, out with her friends around Denton. I'd really like to ask her out, but she's my sister and will probably turn me down. At least I can still watch her in the shower.

I'm surprised at how many people who post and reply on this page are racist and are in total denial about it.

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze up and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him! The morals of this story are: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

A random toddler waved at me. I didn't wave back. Welcome to life and its disappointments, you little shit.

I was eating alphabet soup today and I choked on the D.