I poop with the door open when my room mate isn't at the apartment.

Dear random soulless man,
Ignore the incompetence of my previous post, it was late, I was drunk. Basically, point is! My squirrels share, it wasn't edgar. I think its easy to prove this one considering I can call them MY squirrels. Just a random thought here, not saying you are really, super, not going to win this argument, maybe you should just sit in your wrongness and be wrong. Wouldn't you think that seeing as I spend pretty much, literally all day with Gods little speed bumps, and I know their life stories, fears, joys, and pretty much everything about the,. I would know a thing or two about WHICH SQUIRREL YOU TERRORIZED YOU BROKE ASS GOAT FACE OOMPA LOOMPA MONKEY PROBLEM HUGE ASS TWO CENT GUTTER SLUT. Not saying that you should relocate yourself off campus like to UNT, or literally anywhere else, because you seem like a nice person overall, but here's the thing... Have you ever pictured how a unicorn would be made? I believe it would go something along the lines of a rhino implanting a horse with its love seed, after a nice long period of growth, the only way this horse could birth such a majestic animal, it would have to completely rip its way out of its hosts uterus with is horn of greatness. I'm not talking just casually claw its way out. I'm talking alien ripping its way out of your stomach kind of way. Picture it? If you don't have what would look like an edward scissor hands birthday party blood and guts image, you're doing it wrong. Well this, yeah that's like dora the explorer to what I will do to you. Buddy.
-squirrel girl

Why is it so hard to find a female on this campus that just wants to be FWB.. We are at that age were we aren't technically trying to settle down so lets just have some fun

How do you know I didn't teach my squirrels sharing and that nut was given to get from edgar?! Yeah riddle me that buddy!

-Squirrel Girl

I wish you were mine.

I am laying in bed.
In my empty dorm room.
In the dark.
Listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack.
And actually tearing up.

No shame. No shame at all.

My roommate goes to bed at like 9 every night. And since I'm nice I can't turn the light on. Therefore, I can't study. I have tried studying other places but I just get incredibly distracted. I wish I didn't room with an old person. At least this is the only problem we have though.

Leila has really pretty hair. I want hair like that.