#16433 I love me some Jason Steward

#16432 I know a lot of people think these Ebola jokes are funny. But I seriously doubt that they would be laughing if an outbreak started in Tennessee, and a one of their family members died from it. 70% mortality rate too. Just saying... Doing research helps.

#16431 So I was about stepping out…

Girl: Hey you are leaving me.
Me: No darling! I’m just heading to the gym real quick. Do you wanna come with me?
Girl: Why? Do you think I’m getting fat?
Me: No! I didn’t mean to… Ok never mind, you don’t have to go.
Girl: Why? So now you think I’m lazy?
Me: No! Just calm down babe.
Girl: Why? So now you think I’m being crazy?
Me: [Oh God! Help me!!] No! That’s not what I meant to say.
Girl: Oh! So now I am a liar?!
Me: [Stood there speechless!]

Honestly, I could pay fortune just for a pamphlet detailing how to understand women (unfortunately, there would never be any)!

#16430 Do guys like it when girls squirt during sex? I didn't even know I could do it until my current bf and one day when we were having sex it just happened. I'm too scared to ask him if he likes it or is turned off by it.

#16427 I saw a light coloured brown pitbull with a white/biege coloured chest. Male with red collar, Real skinny. He was roaming around tech village (laundry) and approached me. Called the tech police but they didn't show up. Time: 11.10am date: 10/13/2014.

#16429 Honestly all I want is a nice cuddle buddy to lay around and do nothing with. Then again it's not the easiest thing when you're dude looking for a dude cuddle buddy haha.

#16424 So I'm in my room listening to music and I hear a faint screaming. I turn off my iPod n start to think of what it could be. I leave my room and start looking around my house like any other person would and I hear the screaming again n I start running to my backyard where I hear the noise. Terrified I pull open the door and scream "HELLO? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN ON???!!?!" and I turn on the lights. Only to see my dog (German Shepard) humping my little brothers face (he's 7) n my brother is flailing his arms around and my little cousin is spinning and singing "the Circle of Life". Hm...

#16425 today in my civics class one of the girls in there was like “this teacher messed up my last name on the roll call and called me breathcock once.” our teacher (he’s a guy) was all like “that’s bringing all these dirty thoughts out in my head. I need to be spanked.” me and my friend immediately bust out laughing, and he can’t figure out why. then he realized he made a sexual reference and was embarrassed. it was seriously the best moment of my life.