#704 I'm thinking about not going to my doctors anymore. It's my choice right? I just keep thinking that maybe this time something will be different so I keep going. I hope that I might finally get answers but I'm afraid that I won't like them. That's the crux of it all. To know or not to know.

#683 I confess that I kinda enjoy catching people looking down at my bulge. Can't help that I have one, and I'm not bragging about it. I just find it sorta funny noticing those passing by me and are looking halfway down all of a sudden.

#681 Being a college student is rewarding but god damn I am sick and tired of it. I have 4 semesters left, but my senioritis is already kicking in. Probably because I'm 23, been in college since I was 18 and changed my major 5 times. I have found what I want to be finally but am burnt out from the amount of schooling I've been through, but want to be happy in life when it is all over. So it taking this long even worth it?

#725 I recently became single after dating my boyfriend for 1 year and 2 months. I was the reason for the break up but I still have such strong feelings for him. He wants to remain friends at the very least but I can't see him as just friends right now. We are currently not going to have any contact with each other for 1 month so hopefully things will get better. I've been to the counselor's on campus and had some meetings but they don't really help. Its now day 2 and I feel worse by the hour. The only thing getting me through all this is that he might take me back in the future. If not and he moves on with another guy then I don't know what I'll do.

#680 I feel very guilty. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and the love we have is different then when it first started. I love him with my entire life,he gave me the only love I've ever really had in my life and is the reason I am alive today.He is the most beautiful and wonderful person I've ever met. But...he doesn't touch me anymore,doesn't tell me he loves me and is quick to snap at me. We used to lay in bed for hours just goofing around and making love but that happiness isn't there anymore. I love him so much,the thought of hurting him makes me want to die. He is my whole world,we live together and he is my best friend. He has such a bright future,but he won't finish college if I leave and I don't want him to mess up his life. I don't even know if I want to leave. I am so very confused. I don't know how to deal with these feelings and I have no one to talk to. He is the only friend I have left.....I've thought of so many ways to leave. I've cried so many nights. I've been rejected so many times. What do you do when you need to leave someone you love?

#682 To start off with, I work in retail. Since I'm not a manager, I can't do jack shit when it comes to customers except smile and help them. Even if they smell and look like they haven't bathed in three hundred years.
This guy asked me for help four times on the floor, and when I was on back-up register, he of course came to my register. I had to deal with this stench for a good thirty minutes just checking all his shit out, and then he paid with hundred dollar bills. Bro, can you not afford a shower or deodorant? Body spray? Something?
A pregnant woman was halfway-finished checking out with the main cashier and had to cancel her transaction and leave because the stench was so bad.
I went and threw up the food I had while on the one, short break I would get that day. As luck would have it, a customer was in the bathroom at the time, saw I was an employee when I left the stall to wash my hands, and informed my manager he had a sick employee on duty. So I got sent home because he couldn't be sure if I was sick because of the god-awful smell or because of the stomach virus that is apparently going around.
So fuck you, dude. Shit, I carry a toothbrush and toothpaste on me because I have this obsessive need to brush my teeth after eating anything, a stick of deodorant because I can't stand smelling like sweat, a hairbrush in case my hair needs to be pulled back or gets tangled in something, and body spray for friends that come back from smoke breaks and don't have any on them. I have fucking dry shampoo and two packs of wet wipes in my car. I don't understand how someone can be okay with being so unhygienic that a pregnant woman has to leave before she upchucks in front of the entire store and an employee has to speedwalk to the bathroom to vomit.
I fucking hate retail and can't wait to graduate and start a career that doesn't involve dealing with people that reek of old mayonnaise and spoiled milk that's been sitting in a cup in the sink for two weeks.

Also, I deliberately broke my roommate's favorite mug because she wouldn't wash her god damn dishes after a full week of me asking her to and blamed it on her cat. If she had washed her dishes herself, I'm sure the sweet cat wouldn't have "accidentally knocked the mug on the floor since it was just sitting on the table." I'm sure she'll catch on when her favorite snowglobe "accidentally" falls off the entertainment center. If you're reading this, for the last fucking time, CLEAN UP YOUR SHIT. And I regret none of it.

#678 I confess that sometimes being a tutor is very discouraging. Students never want to pay you for your time or help. It kinda seems like students just want to take advantage of getting help outside of class. I love helping the students. But when the school doesn't employ you, a small gesture from a student can mean a lot. Even if it's something as simple as a thank you.

Cake - I would pull a Marie Antoinette and as thanks/payment, let you eat cake. {the baked good}

#679 I'm spiraling. The only time I'm happy anymore is when I'm fucked up and even then I'm not always happy. My life's lost meaning past providing a paycheck. I'm a miserable person. There's nothing I bring to this life anymore. The only people who would miss me wouldn't remember me in a few years...I would end it if I wasn't so weak. Maybe tomorrow will be the day.