#5092 I heard a girl get congradualated on her pregnancy by a friend as they lit up a cigarette to smoke. When I told her she shouldn't smoke while pregnant she responded by telling me her mom smoked the whole time she was pregnant with her and she was fine and that an undersized baby is cute anyway. I'm a smoker and have nothing against smokers but for the love of God please be responsible and think...

"Q"- The problem isn't that she wasn't thinking. She was. She's just fucking stupid, thus the thinking doesn't yield much.

Why is it hard to find a girl whose idea of a good time doesn't involve alcohol and can just go out and dance with me, watch movies with me, and isn't afraid of spur of the moment ideas and trips?

"Q"- Maybe you're so good looking you scare them away. Or maybe you're ugly. ¯\_(?)_/¯

#5082 I legitimately want to see a sex tape with Ellen DeGeneres and Portia. Sooo hot.

#5095 Not really a confession but I'm wanting to buy a good whiskey for sipping and taking shots. Can any of you high class drinkers recommend one?

V: Never take shots of a sipping whiskey. Rookie mistake.

#5081 I confess that I REALLY want to start a petition to change the National Anthem to America (Fuck Yeah).

Cake - I'm sure our fouding fathers would be proud.

#5094 ive been in a relationship for a really long time now and recently ive been crushing on someone in my class.. To make matters worse we slept together about a month ago, not sexual. Now i cant get my mind off them. Fml.

#5078 Sometimes I sit on the toilet & look at my phone for so long after I poop, that I forget I pooped.

#5080 I confess that this is my third time to retake Math 92. what sucks is I am a straight A student in everything else but I don't understand why I can't retain math. I also confess that if I pass it this time it will be a miracle.