#5391 About to graduate we should have a rave in the union where everyone just parties till their head falls off or police come bc its 2am but still party

"Q"- They'll be there WAAAaaay before 2:00AM. UPD are usually so fucking bored they'll trip running out the door in a comical slap-stick pile up from the excitement.

#5367 I confess that I am willing to blackmail Q with his personal information just in order to find out who the other admins are.

Omega- Won't work, Q would take the fall and become our public spokesperson before he would cave into any bs you've got up your sleeve.

#5365 I confess that finals have got me wanting to dolphin dive head first off the second floor of the library.

"Q"- The second floor leaves too much margin of error. Go roof or go home

#5370 Why do nearly all the girls at selu look pissed when they walk around campus. I feel like if say hey then yall are going to kill me or something

Cake - It's Wednesday. They probably forgot to wear pink or missed Starbucks happy hour.

#5368 I confess that i have lost 113 lbs since i started at this university. I did it to impress a woman who i am engaged to now, and it genuinely pisses me off when i see posts from girls who say "fit guys need to step their game up and date a 'curvy' girl" how about you step ANYWHERE and lose some weight. Youre just lazy and unmotivated and want someone who isnt.

#5373 I confess, I have a paralyzing obsession with the porn star, James Deen. All the guys I date look like him, but I've honestly considered becoming a porn actress just so I'd have a shot at getting with him, specifically. I can't even orgasm unless I'm thinking of him.
http://media.giphy.com/media/Z2yFjDmLiObO8/giphy.gif

#5383 I confess that I was raised southern Baptist. (I don't really practice it to well) but a guy I'm talking to is Jewish and I may have to concert. I guess my real confession is, I'm not really ready for 8 days of Christmas instead of 1...

#5374 I confess that I just spent half an hour reading confessions out loud in my Morgan Freeman accent. I'm so bored it is not even funny.