#1269 So, I do professional waxing and ended up waxing a student who goes here... when I was doing his (yes his) asshole, he clenched and accidentally projectile-sprayed little bits of poo at me. It was a shitty day.

Omega- How does one clinch and projectile-spray shit at the same time? I thought that would have the opposite effect. Any estheticians in the house who can confirm this phenomenon?

#1270 A hair got stuck in my throat and I puked on my partner's chest. Not a lot of puke, just a little white, frothy, gagging vomit, which was somehow worse. That, or some debris on the anal beads, but I understand that's pretty common.

Omega- Y'all get a load of this high-grade raunchy shit. Though i'm puzzled- why would you elaborate so eloquently on the characteristics of your vomit then default to calling facies "debris". Were you gagging on hair, shit, or lunar dust? Am I missing something here? I'm going to lose sleep over this, OP.

#1267 There's a girl in my SE 101 class who dresses like some sort of French hippie witch and I just wonder if she realizes how adorable she is.

Omega- These freshie crushes are adorable. Make a move! Play it by the books though- A confident but humble introduction (wait until class is over), tell her what you dig about her in a non-creepy way, and offer to take her out on a little date. No staring. Please let us know how it goes if you decide to take my advice. I'm rooting for you fresh!

#1266 A girl I just started dating does webcam shows where she jacks a guy off on cam to pay for school and other things. I thought I'd be fine with this at first but told her it bothers me and she got mad. Would you be okay with your S/O naked on webcam giving a handjob to someone else for money?

#1265 Lol @ the girl who cheated on her bf with his brother and regrets it. I cheat on mine all the time and when he catches me I just get him to forgive me because he knows he loves me. It's a game

Omega- You need to try a little harder. Add some details, restructure your sentences, maybe drop the part where you call it a game. Put a worm on the hook maaaan.

#1264 To the girl in the peach shirt in Garret Hall yesterday(Thursday), I hope you aren't mad at me. I kind of feel you are because you completely ignored me and avoided making eye contact but if you are, I hope we can make it up and get better.

Omega- I believe the book store sells really cheap disposable bic razors. Please look into it at some point today as it seems (though i'm not 100% certain) you are showing symptoms of stage 1 neckbeard.

#1263 If anyone is looking for part time work, Gray Cat Cycle Worx, the bike shop downtown, is looking for someone ASAP. Flexible hours and fun work

#1262 Yesterday I was walking around north oaks park and this beautiful boy stops and makes small talk with me. I was so nervous and I think he could tell. I forgot what he said his name was due to the nerves! All I remember was that he said he had desires to be an army ranger or something and he had made some mistakes in his life. Whoever you were pleaseee go walking again with that backback on your back at north oaks park!