#24468 My gosh is it to much to ask for to find a single christian girl who cares about her faith? Single christian guy here and I haven't run into any of them

#24467 Even though it's been 3 weeks since i arrived at purdue, but i haven't really made any friends yet. I think i'm getting introverted :(

#24466 Even crimes are committed but not me. Love my life.

#24465 I hate that I try to fill the void in my heart with hookers.

#24464 I hate having depression, and anxiety... I see other kids I went to school with have houses, lots, married, successful, and right of of high school I got to move to a different state. I didn't know anyone, I have a weird lisp, i have tooth aches, i spent 6 years in that state, clawing and scratching my way out. Now I'm in Indy, trying to get back to the guy i used to be... But I still have this shadow of hate that cloaks me in darkness, reminds me that I'm so far away from where I should be, that I'm just so upset at my parents, myself, everything... I gained so much weight out there that now it's hard to even stand... I'm 26, my family is there, but my life is so unfulfilled... I often think back to when I was a kid, how unhappy I was, how understand I was that my parents were poor, then I thought about how they found afford all this stuff, yet here I am, a bastard child, not good enough to keep promises to, not good enough to do anything I wanted to, for enough to follow commands and that's about it... Every day I think about how my family is able to do whatever they want, and because of my parents, i can barely even go outside, because of my depression I can barely even talk without sadness over ruling my thoughts... Don't even get me started on my anxiety from bit being about to talk properly... Idk I have a lot of issues, I think the worst is why did I have to spend so much of my life doing what they wanted me to do, yet they let my cousins do anything... How is it that my life, they never did anything, but as soon as I leave to go to college, to pursue a better life, to do anything, they go out and enjoy life, that's not a bad thing, but i always think about how I'm embarrassing to them... Like I'm unwanted, uncared for... And just like that my thoughts go to when we first moved to that state. My mom on Facebook, feeling me about cousins, and children of her friends, how successful they were, and all that did was very my blood flowing like, you fucking dumb bitch, you said don't go to college, don't join the military, find a job and work your way up... And then have me fucking move to a God damn tiny town with dumb fucks in it, who only hire on fucking assholes who are from there. Thanks mom and dad, 26 years of fucking shit to do nothing... All this ranting and raving and still nothing to show for it, i dont feel better, I feel worse, and a lot more upset because of the auto correcting in this fucking thing. I guess in the end I'm jealous, and envious of everybody else, meanwhile I have to look back on my own life, remeber how every day it would be eat shitty food, get treated like I didn't exist, and all in my parents hopes that I wouldn't have to depend on them at that point where 100% of people do.

#24463 So my mom just stops by in the evening while I'm not there or while I'm asleep and stays the night in a room sometimes. She has an apartment. How to I tell her to leave? She's my moms and all but this is really annoying and bizzare and she is kinda intruding a bit TBH. She just shows up and sleeps over like a homeless crackhead with a key. Depressing. It brings me back to the unhappy days of my youth when I lived under the same roof as her and my stepdad (who was also trashy and abusive) TBH, haha, weird, I know.

#24462 Despite the fact that I'm stronger than 99% of the general population, I still hate myself emotionally and physically.
I don't train optimally, I drink too much, I have too much stomach flab, I'm too weak, I'm too lazy in my schoolwork and job, etc etc.
I know this will sound crazy, but people tell me the exact opposite of what I've said above, and it means absolutely nothing to me. No matter how many compliments I get, I just want to kill the loser I see every time I look in the mirror.
There's no level of self-improvement that will fix your self-esteem if you fundamentally hate yourself.

#24461 I asked a girl out to a Trump rally.