#24701 I am horrible at sorting out me feelings for people. I'm into my twenties, I've been in multiple relationships, I honestly don't know if I could count them all, but I HAVE finally found the 'perfect' woman (and for anyone protesting that no one is perfect, please, just let me have this one). We've had our first date, and while we both found the activity to be lame, we genuinely enjoyed each others' company, and I think we're sort of officially seeing each other... I'm the only guy she talks to and she's the only woman I do, so I'll call that good enough for now. Anyway, I think I might have finally found the one, but this relationship is so different. On so many levels. She's just so perfect that I couldn't list all of the reasons why if I owned Facebook and filled every page with what I thought of her. The biggest plus though, is that she would be the first Woman ever, that my family would find suitable. I'm sorry this post is a little choppy, and mixed up, I'm just typing as soon as something comes to my mind. A big reason this relationship is so different, is because the woman is so independent, which is a good thing, she's successful, responsible, has morals, ETC. It's all of the qualities I've ever wanted in a woman but have never actually seen before, so it's just new and surreal, and I don't know how to handle it.
Another thing about this, is that the relationship is moving, at what some people would call a 'painstakingly slow' pace. Being that she's so independent we don't spend a horrible amount of time talking to each other, and honestly I kind of feel like a loser, wait by the phone for her text. Obviously I have my own life, but being that I'm a college student, I can study and have my phone on me at all times, while when she's at work or doing something adventurous hers is usually out of reach. I do find the slowness of anything we have sort of admirable. We both understand how we feel about one another and it's good. This is just so very new, being that like a 'normal' person I started dating back in high school, and teenage hormones, and yada yada yada... None of this is helped by me being out of work after an injury a couple of months ago. This would have been so incredibly easy back then, with me working 10 hour days, six days a week.
I'm sorry if this disappointed anyone, it never did come around to how I'm bad with feelings... that's another long story, and I don't want to break the internet. :p Anyway, thanks for reading this, if you've been all the way through, and let me hear what you have to say.

#24700 I don't really find the "More Cowbell" skit funny. Not like I find it objectionable, but I never have understood why everyone seems to think it is funny enough to keep referencing.
I mean, there are plenty of things I DO find funny, but a lot of those are things other people don't find nearly AS funny.
I dunno.
Maybe I just have a weird sense of humor and leave it at that.

#24699 I hate myself for it, but if I develop a crush on someone, I won't even consider anyone else. I get dead set on that one goal, and when it starts to slip, I go into severe depression. I fucking hate it. I haven't been genuinely happy in probably a year because of it.

#24698 So I found out my father has been spending his life talking shit about my dead mother to make himself better in my eyes. And while he has gone out of his way to take care of me, I find it really hard to reconcile with someone who could do that. I don't want to cut my family out of my life, but if this is the kind of unreasonable drama thats going to get brought up, I don't know how I'm going to keep my peace of mind if I don't.

#24697 My classes at Purdue are just as hard as they were at Ivy Tech. The egos of some of the people here are over the moon. Remember to stay humble.

#24696 So is breakfast club not a thing anymore? I'm out with some friends this morning and not a lot of people are out...

#24695 Regarding the guy who unfriended fat, white, neckbeard dudebro, cowboy hat-wearing trump supporter: I think you did the right thing, coming from a white dude that kinda matches that description, haha (you have insulted my people! How DARE you, sir! I would like to speak to your manager, etc)

The problem with what that big guy said, aside from the fact that you hear those stats from true believer white supremacists all the time, is that someone who is black, and correct me if I'm wrong black folk, hears this shit like EVERY DAY of their LIFE. At some point you'd know what time it is and would have to emotionally protect yourself from all the people who are essentially saying, "look, I'll have a conversation with you, but these statistics are factual evidence that proves why your life doesn't matters that much."

Imagine hearing that EVERY WEEK, if not every DAY of your life. IRL. On TV. Online. In magazines. etc. Imagine the effect that would have on your self esteem and mental health. And imagine you hear it that often and are also poor as fuck and have to live in a dangerous area that few outsiders know in detail about, and have to worry about getting shot by both gang bangers AND police who's difficult job is a lot easier to just lump you in with said gangbangers. You might be a good kid, a king, a god, a butterfly, etc (you are smart and have a heart, etc) but all you hear most every day from mainstream white america is how you complain too much, are entitled, are naturally prone to violence (never mind the fact that you didn't choose to be born in the area you grew up in, or have family members who might have grown up with the wrong crowds that you still have hope for. Every day, on the drive to class, in class, on the commute to work, at work, etc, you are constantly devalued because of some cartoonish stereotype that is tacked on to some facts without the full context. And you are shown that piece of factual info by random white people every day and its like, "here fucker, this is why I don't want to have a heart to heart with you to make your life a bit easier". All. the. time.

And do I think it is tragic that many more white people are killed a year than blacks based on sheer amount? Yes, that is horrible. Almost as if there might be a "shoot first ask questions later" problem with the police, eh? Thing is, we are targeted more. Because of those statistics (which if you really looked into the context, you might find that there is a disturbing historical context explaining why so many black american youth still grow up in segregated, lower income environments and tend to view our society from the outside).

There are far less of black americans living in this country than whites but the amount who are innocent and get shot each year because of the way they look, dress, where they live, etc, is a problem, isn't it? And that's the problem with alllivesmatter - it's trying to silence the BLM movements attempts to shed light on those particular injustices. The BLM movement, at heart, is not about "Black supremacy" and "rioting and killing cops and white people". That is a small branch of the movement, and one that is more extreme than what the more prominent activists like Deray are about.

There's so much controversy over BLM, but at its core it is asking very simple questions: Do you think black lives matter? Furthermore, do you care when members of the black community who are innocent like those dead kids holding toy guns, Eric Garner, the man protecting that autistic kid who literally compiled, laid down on the ground with his hands in the air and STILL gots shot by police...do you think their deaths were justified? If not, do you care enough about their lives to admit there are problems with the way police forces are currently run? Do you care enough to change that by getting it through some white trump supporter’s thick skull that they get to live a life where they don't have to worry about this shit AT ALL, much less all the time?

Look, I am white and creepy and essentially resemble the killer from True Detective and I'm almost NEVER pulled over by police. Also, the one time I was stopped (this year) I had a knife in my backpack (I was moving around from hotel to hotel, eating what I could afford and was using the knife as an eating utensil) and accidentally made a pun about stabbing the police officer who pulled me over (“you’re on the edge”). I looked shady as fuck, but not only did he not cuff me (all he did is drill me about if I've ever been arrested) but he didn't even take the knife. He just peaced out and I went on my way. I had the knife in my hand at one point. Like, bruh, there are some systemic biases that result in a lower quality of life for some americans based not heir skin color and culture and you just shove some stats with no context in their face and tell them to go suck an egg? No wonder you support an asshat like Trump. If you aren't capable of even enough empathy to attempt being woke, than why are you here? In this country, I mean. You might as well be an alien because not giving a fuck about american people being shot by law enforcement unjustly is kind of unamerican, isn't it? It's like saying the people being killed don't matter because they are not in your circle, because they are in some ways different than you and you can’t care. Their death is like when a random guy you didn't say hi to drives off in a car. "Well, I got a glimpse of them, but they're gone now. WHOOPS, oh well, these things happen..."

If that's not straight-up racist, it is definitely some Patrick Bateman and Kit and Holly from Badlands type eerie psychotic shit.

#24694 I wish I didn't hate my family, but I'm excluded from pretty much everything so I don't get a choice