#24733 I need an icebreaker for my female warlock in destiny

#24732 Does anyone else find that the only way stop procrastinating is to just get drunk and then do all of your homework? Yes, that is my method and if that makes me an alcoholic I embrace it.

#24731 I have to say I'm sorry to the girl that I said "hello" to in an tone that was apparently too flirty. I haven't seen someone run so fast since Usain Bolt...LOL

#24730 At work, during the debate

Cooworker: Fuck Donald Trump.
Me: You have terrible taste.
Cooworker: ... In politics?
Me: In people you want to fuck.

#24729 I've officially decided that scantron tests are just a little extra face slap from professors. As if the exam isn't hard enough to used the whole 50 minutes! No, let's take 5 minutes of the time you could use to actually answer a question intelligently and test you on your ability to color inside the lines... To the creator of the scantron, I hate you.

#24728 Tinder hates me as does OkCupid

#24727 Thank you to whoever found my friends keys in the grass this past Saturday between 5 and 6pm and wrapped them around the door handle.

#24726 I need a boyfriend. WHERE ARE ALL THE GAYS!