#24773 You really want to know what's scary? I work security, and my coworker is so ghetto she defines the green hoodrat, on top of living that life where she bangs his with 14 baby mamas... I don't rant give a fuck how she lives her life, even though I do get tested to make sure no STDs come in contact with me from her breath... But the fact that she's armed, hostile, crazy, about half educated, lives in the projects, and has that guy following her around is a fucking recipe for disaster...

#24772 I was raped about 6 month ago. I've been working on from that and discovering my sexuality but my body is craving more than me just maturbating. I wish I could find a nice guy who would be very understanding about the whole rape thing (and stop if things got to hard for me) that I could have sex with no strings attached just sex.

#24771 What the absolute fuck. I trained mma for a year, and fought a year after that... My grandparents saw me fight, but my mom didn't... I moved away, and here I see on Facebook my mom cheering for this guy who she hasn't even seen, like what fuck mom?

#24770

#24769 Currently going to counseling and it isn't going so well, I feel like I am treated as a lost cause.

What causes someone to be heartless? Psychopathic/sociopathic? I don't think I've ever actually been in love before. And so much weird shit I did starting from a young age. I've had so many opportunities - caring grandparents and other family members who loved me unconditionally, an easy life, no poverty, no physical abuse from anyone, just emotional abuse but that's not enough to make someone a monster. I had lots of video games, went to disneyland and the grand canyon, have never seriously been injured, went most of my life without experiencing a loss of friends or family, got tons of grants for a college education and so on. Yet, as early as age 5 I was hiding toothpicks in my grandfather's candies when I was five or six. Throwing the family dog off a porch, breaking its leg, because I "wanted to see him fly". Emotionally/physically/sexually abusing a sibling starting at age 7 or 8 and well into my early teens. Generally not being able to empathize except on the very rare occasions that I cry. Cried briefly when my father died (an unexpected and painful death) in 2013. Didn't shed a tear when my aunt and uncle died recently from cancer and other health problems. It is said the most mentally healthy thing you can do is to be yourself, but what if you've always been a heartless piece of garbage and hate that aspect of your personality and have been trying to better yourself? But can only get so far because of past actions and behaviors, apparently. Sometimes I wonder if it will take experiencing random violence or another form of suffering directed towards me in order to feel the emotion of unselfish love again. Not self inflicted, but being attacked by a dangerous animal or being in a car wreck or breaking bones from a fall or something. Sounds so melodramatic and corny and disgusting. Obviously I don't want this, nobody does, but sometimes going through hardships builds empathy, and given how I seem to have pretty much none of that I dunno. Then again, it's possible it could have the opposite effect. This is getting uncomfortably pathetic and beyond depressing, so I'll end this gross/sad confession here.

#24768 I have severe emetophobia....

#24767 Just wanted to tell the Asian girl working at Amelia Cafe in the mornings Tues-Fri that she's really cute and always makes me smile

#24766 Kiya Arden- Hey guys, I'm trying to find this guy today that sat with me while I was having a mental breakdown. His names Nick and he has shorty sandy-ish hair and was wearing a sweater/sweatshirt with what looked like the hogwarts crest but it was kinda hard to see through all the tears lol. Does anyone know him? I want to say thank you again, because it really meant a lot. You can include my name in the post