#12577 Although everyone tells me I'm an awesome guy, I'm terrified of talking to women :/ #foreveralone #whatdo

#12576 I often have many intrusive thoughts which have been pushing me further to want to commit suicide. They are often violent, strange, sexual, mean, disgusting, or all of those. I don't understand why they pop into my head, but they do. I feel like I'm losing my grasp on my own mind. I often yell at myself and talk to myself like Gollum does from Lord of the Rings. I try to imagine that I have two people in my mind influencing me. The bad thoughts are the bad person trying to take over me. I try combating the thoughts with imagining the good person shooting, whipping, or stabbing the bad person. Or I will sometimes imagine pouring corrosive chemicals on my face or stabbing my brain with an ice pick so that I will think bad thoughts about myself, but not have bad thoughts about others. These horrible, horrible thoughts should not be. I don't understand it, therefore, since I can not rid my mind of this plague alive, I may have to end my life in order to put a total end to it. I feel that maybe I need medication or some sort of help, but I don't have time for getting help and I have no way to receive medication. CAPS would most likely sign me up to have appointments with a counselor instead of a psychologist, which I think I need, but I don't really know. I suppose I am using this site to ask for help, since I am too afraid to bother my own friends. I'm afraid that they will think I'm some insane monster, which maybe I am. All I know is that my mind doesn't feel right and it's leading me to want to die.

#12575 I really messed it up with a guy by sending him a drunk text. I thought he was the most amazing thing but now I realize maybe he isn't the most amazing thing if he can't get over one text basically telling him I wanted things to work out. Mind you he told me he wanted to be with me multiple times.

#12574 I think I might have bipolar disorder and anxiety. I hate how I feel most of the time, but I won't go get help because it doesn't interfere with my life enough to be considered significant distress. Do I have to get worse before I can get better?

#12571 I stress over petty shit 24/7.

Got some homework? I'm stressing. Someone taking too long to text back? I'm stressing. Class running a few minutes? I'm stressing, "Am I going to make it to my next class on time?" Can't find weekend plans? Welp, I'm fucked.

Sometimes I wish I could just chill the fuck out and relax, because being on edge all the time is no fun.

#12570 I feel lonelier here than I ever have. The guys on my floor don't invite me to do anything, and my girlfriend can barely make time to see me each week. I don't really have any friends except my roommate, but that's a stretch. I'm starting to rethink my decision...

#12569 I know there are 40,000 students on campus, but i always hope that i will run into you on campus. I miss our long talks and fun adventures! we were pretty close, but after classes ended last year we stopped talking. Even with this said, I hope you are having a great semester! :)

#12568 So me and my roommate are supposed to be friends but im seriously considering switching at semester. She leaves her crap all over the room all the time and always tries to be crazy bossy and sleeps all the time! I don't know how much more I can handle of it.