#12977 Solomon Grundy,
Born on a Monday,
Christened on Tuesday,
Married on Wednesday,
Took ill on Thursday,
Grew worse on Friday,
Died on Saturday,
Buried on Sunday.
That was the end,
Of Solomon Grundy.

#12976 My girlfriend doesn't want sex until marriage. So since she wants to act childish I just invite her best friend over when I'm horny.

#13002 Yo, so I've got a small dolphin. This means I got to step my tongue game up big timee! That's all I wanted to confess.

#12975 If you do not vote you deserve to be throat punched. Every election is an important election.

#12974 I am more attracted to the female graduate students than the undergrad students. Thank you to the ladies who know that real men like women who dont act stupid or weak.

#13008 My chem lab partner is hot. She's super nice and has a great smile. I want to ask her out but... well she does have a nice butt too. I'm hesitant because she's the only person I like in the class and if she says no it's going to be super awkward and if I have to get a new lab partner then the rest of the class is going to suck.

#12979 You don't ask the fish how to fish.

#12973 She keeps on passin' me by...