#15481 Dear male friend, When I invited you to come over after I saw a really scary movie, I meant come cuddle. Not come masturbate in my bed...

#15482 I wish I had more friends...it's not like i'm antisocial or anything either, just haven't found my group yet

#15483 I drunkenly dumped glitter all over the sidewalk outside of madmush in the fall, and I still see it when I walk by sometimes.

#15484 I always try to have mad swag in my walk when I walk across the Washington Bridge just so I can get girls to check me out.

#15485 I check to see how many likes my confessions got for an ego boost.

#15486 I have a paralyzing fear I'll trip and fall down the stairs in Hicks since I'm pretty much the worst klutz ever

#15487 I masturbated in my room while my roommate was sleeping so many times and he never found out.

#15488 I love Purdue because it's filled with bimbos. Bimbos make me happy. Bimbos make me feel alive. Bimbos make me want to pretend to be a better man. I have fallen in love a couple of times, but, at the end of the day, my heart belongs to bimbos. I'm not confused about this. You know who is confused? Bimbos. They're easily confused. It's one of the thousand little things I love about them. I love their vacant, trusting stares. Their sluggish, unencumbered minds, their unresolved daddy issues. I love them, and they love me. Bimbos have always been there for me, through thick and thin -- mostly thin. I don't do thick crust.