#15606 When I sit down to poop, I spread my cheeks onto the bowl for a more efficient and enjoyable deuce

#15607 You Apple product cultist annoy the hell out of me. Explain to me how you need to buy every new MacBook, iPad, iPhone, and iPod when it comes out you rich bastards

#15608 I wake up every night at 3am to the sight of my roommate sniffing my underwear.

#15609 Is it possible to be attracted to someone after talking to them for a few seconds two days ago? I suppose I'm very vulnerable to awkward geeky personalities. Shout out to all the cute nerds out there, you've got your fans.

#15610 So I was in yoga and farted, needless to say I dropped because I couldn't handle the embarrassment.

#15611 Why the fuck are there no cute guys in the English department? In class, it's mostly women, and then the few guys I see are awkward and skinny. It's not like I would automatically get a date even if there were attractive guys in my classes, but seriously, a sister needs some eye candy for Christ's sake!!! I swear, next term I'm signing up for a business class or something, because I cannot survive in the barren wasteland that is the English department!

#15616 I'm just here to read confessions

#15600 I am a guy with an A+ body who is starting to feel emotionally cold toward women. I have been turned down too many times and am sick of watching them fall for the same types of guys. I feel like female attraction could be broken down into a simple formula, which for the most part revolves around the social value of guys and how much of a jerk he is to her. I believe this to be especially true for hot girls. I would love to have someone tell me otherwise, but w/e I think I may be becoming gay or at least need to take a break you dumb girls