Monday, 29 June 2015 06:00 AM
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#16749 Victims aren't we all?
Monday, 29 June 2015 05:59 AM
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#16735 That awkward moment when my doctor is checking my balls during a physical and I run my fingers through his hair.
Monday, 29 June 2015 05:57 AM
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#16734 Women say that they love a man in a uniform, yet whenever I go to the bars in my McDonalds outfit, no one will even talk to me.
Monday, 29 June 2015 05:49 AM
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#16733 Ladies, if your boyfriend says that he'll fix something, he'll fix it. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
Monday, 29 June 2015 05:46 AM
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#16732 If you're bored, send this text to a random number: "I hid the body, now what?"
Monday, 29 June 2015 05:44 AM
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#16731 Things I can say to my dog, but not my girlfriend: Come.
Monday, 29 June 2015 05:39 AM
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#16730 I'm just a premature ejaculator looking for the right hook up. Must have large breasts, full lips, a nice ass and ... OH GOD ... never mind.
Monday, 29 June 2015 05:02 AM
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#16726 I just don't get the appeal of twitter. Like what compels a person to be so vain as to compress their emotions into 120 characters?
#lame