#16831 The only reason I smoke hookah is to pretend I'm a dragon when I'm exhaling

#16830 I'm not gay...

#16829 And I could have one superpower it would to be able to figure out any Wi-Fi password

#16828 Man I missed hanging out at the engineering fountain

#16826 While I was sleeping face down on my desk at work today I jerked awake really suddenly because I had a dream that I was taking a shower but the water slowly stopped draining and a ton of thick sewage exploded out of the drain and covered me and the entire bathroom in noodle shaped turds created by squeezing through the holes of the drain.

#16823 Just tried to screenshot my broken screen to my parents

#16837 Updating the Iphone 5 takes forever now

#16836 I hate making space to update my phone, why can't it just install since I downloaded it from my computer