Thursday, 01 October 2015 01:58 PM
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#19344 The past 48 hours have been crazy, I'm sitting here taking a shit ace thinking about the post that said these should be funny... So let's see if this is funny, or funny only to me... So my best friend is about to get married, and asked me to throw him a bachelors party, so I said yeah, we brought him to Vegas for the weekend, which ended up being the weekend as half of this week. Started out pretty normal, got a few nice rooms at the luxor, brought a lot of money Rico get drunk and spend on hookers, cause why gamble when you can get laid, right? Well turns out those cards they hand out are from one agency, of which we got kidnapped, the hooker was pretty hot, but her bouncer decided that we were worth money, so we got drugged, thrown in a van and woke up in the desert, hangover style except the bad guys were there when we woke up, and we were in hand cuffs, and ankle cuffs, with another pair of handcuffs holding them together... So they called our parents, and gave them a ransom, now I have a pretty serious problem involving my parents oh any part of my life, so I said don't give him the money, I'll finish him off myself! I then hit whacked in the back of the head by a large double sided dildo, and then chloroformed... I woke yo several hours later in the back of the van, with a dildo duct tapped half way down my throat... I found my spare handcuff key I keep in my boots because you never know when you'll need them... Don't ask... Anyway I pulled it out, took out the dildo, took off all but one wrist of my handcuffs and un did everybody else's too, jumped outside and looked for any sign of them... We found body in miles, my friends said that they left us for dead when you said you would finish them. So I pop the hood and check under the van for any explosives, there were none, however I found out that you can't really hot write a van unless you know how to do it... So I forced the shifter into neutral and we pushed it toward Vegas in the night, (thank God they have the beam of light from the luxor) when we got there we begged for some water, and food, then went to the police street parking the van in this gas stations parking lot... Told them the story and spoke to the hotel, airline, etc... And they were all understanding, but the strangest thing I saw was the guy walking into the bathroom at the hotel just as we were about to leave, so with the handcuffs in my pocket, I walked in, and beat the living shit out of this guy while he was taking a piss, I finally got the handcuffs on him, let putt my rage, ace walked him, pants down and all to the suree area where I turned him in, he also got indecent exposure charges added to it, even though it was my fault. We made it home with no charges against us, or a need to go to Vegas to testify... But it get really good beating that dude up, my friends all have an awesome story and best of all, none of us had anything left after they stole our wallets, but my bank called and said where my debit card had been used, and they were arrested... Spot unseen, all the money is back in my position, plus some extra money, my friends got their stuff back too, or well we will once the LAPD mails it to us, until then it's a good story, and that beat down was spectacular.