#20357 I tried to shave after downing a 5 hour energy and monster, cut myself a bunch while shaving

#20358 Top tip try eating someone out with sour skittles

#20359 I have to beg my boyfriend for sex

#20354 Fuck this finance class. It says to balance a check book, I've assays just added and subtracted, this wants me to do so much more

#20353 Women may have to put up with a lot, but at the end of the day you'll be able to get a guy, men on the other hand, we could do everything right ace still not end up with even a phone number...

#20352 When's the last time someone told you to wash up before they went down on you? But god forbid you take a puss and don't wash your hands.

Confession: I don't wash my hands everytime I pee

#20351 Thank you restaurants that are getting rid of tipping. Nothing about a tip makes sense. Giving a person extra money for doing their job? There's a reason most countries tip customarily.

Confession: you don't get a tip from me by default. You have to earn it by going above and beyond but at the same time you have to be pretty bad to get stiffed completely. Volatility is part of the job unfortunately.

#20350 When you're starving and put food in the microwave, then it starts to pop and you're like, "Damn it! Stay strong you cheesy chicken and broccoli, stay strong!"