#22527 I would let a guy "stay the night" so I could have someone to cuddle with me...

#22526 God cursed me with a big dick and extreme social anxiety.

#22525 This is the final fucking straw, before I took the blame for my phone not going off, maybe it was user error, not fucking today, I know I set that mother fucker to go off at noon on Monday so I would have a fucking hour to get ready for class, it'is now almost 3 and that fucking piece of shit didn't go off, this is about the 5th time it hasn't gone off, so now it's time to invest in a better alarm clock, and trade in my phone for one that doesn't have the title of Samsung, Idk why the fuck it didn't go off, but this is 100% a software issue, and now I'm fucking mad

#22524 I cant get privacy anywhere else so I play with myself in the public bathroom while I'm dropping timber

#22523 I like to meet new people so that I can reuse my old jokes

#22522 I don't feel like I'm smart enough to be at this school

#22521 On move in day last semester, my girlfriend came over to visit. My bed was covered in clothes and boxes, so we used my room mates bed. I almost told him when I was drunk, but he still doesnt know

#22520 I'm majoring in engineering, and I have to do every little operation using a calculator, even if it's 2+2, I just don't trust my brain