#22884 I dont think i will ever go on a date again. I am convinced that women cant be trusted. :(

#22883 Okay and what if you're a girl? And you haven't actually had a date with your crush yet? And your crush doesn't know they're your crush? And she thought he liked her too? Halp

#22882 Did you know that the word STRESSED is DESSERTS spelled backwards?

So, desserts are the solution to being stressed!
In order to reverse your stress, you must eat desserts!

#22881 My ex got me arrested cause i used to sit outside her apartment all day. She thought i was stalking her but i wasn't, i just had her WiFi code.

#22880 A new element added to Periodic Table
name: Girl
Symbol: Gl

.
.
Atomic weight: Don't even dare to ask. .
Physical properties:
1. Boils at any time,
2. Melts when handled with love and
care,
3. very bitter when mishandled. .
Chemical properties:
1. Very reactive,
2. Highly unstable,
3. Possesses high affinity to gold,
platinum, diamond, branded clothes and other expensive
items.
.
Nature:
1. Money reducing agent.
2. Volatile when left alone. .
Occurrence:
Mostly found in front of the mirrors...!!!!

Confession: I laughed at the money reducing agent part

#22879 Today a guy came and asked me for a small donation for the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. :p

#22878 When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

#22877 Today I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her tits when she said "Would you press one? ...so I did.