Monday, 04 April 2016 07:24 PM
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#23127 I never leave the food in the microwave for two minutes even though the instructions tell me to.
Monday, 04 April 2016 07:19 PM
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#23126 I hate being single but I also don't know anyone who interests me enough to want to date them.
Monday, 04 April 2016 05:45 PM
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#23125 I'm always afraid to ask professors for help. I'm worried their going to get mad at me, and say something like "How do you not understand this?! We went over this in class. You should know it. I think maybe you're just too stupid."
Monday, 04 April 2016 04:33 PM
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#23124 It's been over a year, and I confess I still miss you. Maybe I'm over our relationship, but I miss you as my best friend, every time something good or bad happens, you still come across my mind as the person I want to tell.
Monday, 04 April 2016 02:49 PM
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#23123 I can queef on command. So well in fact that I find it amusing and I'll literally lay in my bed for hours just laughing at my own queefs. They sound just like regular farts.
Monday, 04 April 2016 12:44 PM
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#23122 Based on the laughable quality of presidential candidates this year, I would rather just vote to have Obama serve a third term.
Monday, 04 April 2016 12:00 PM
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#23121 I'm supposed to be homeworking now.
Monday, 04 April 2016 11:59 AM
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#23120 Is it just me or does Trumps hair keep changing between white, gold and orange?