Why cant we all just get high. Life would be so much better if people weren't always bitching.

when these confessions are more than 5 lines long, i'm way too lazy to actually read them

My ex had a small penis, now that I've been with a few other guys I'm glad I didn't stay with him and 'tiny Tim.'

ITS 7:30PM AND MY DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBOOR IS BANGING THEIR BROOM ON MY FLOOR, LIKE DUDE GET A FREAKING LIFE. HOW ANNOYING. I AM IN NO WAY BEING TO LOUD. GET LAID OR SOMETHING YOU SMELLY PRICK. I KNOW HE READS THIS PAGE BECAUSE WE HAVE A MUTUAL FRIEND AND HES ALWAYS ON HERE. SOOOO TO YOU STUPID, GET A LIFE

I don't understand why, as an attractive, intelligent female, I can't seem to find a steady FWB. I don't want a boyfriend. I don't have time for that. I want someone who will come over at my beck and call and satisfy me. Is that too much to ask for?

I used to have the biggest crush on this girl. And then I saw her the other day and she had the Ombre hairdo goin on. NOT HOT!

I'm drunk right now and I don't care.

Okay. Last weekend while I was chillin' like a villain at Bar IX (yes, it was bumpin'), I met this dude who was in my German class at the beginning of the semester, but is no longer enrolled in German 220. Darien...Darian...yeah, I have no idea how the fuck you spell your name, and I have even less of an idea what your last name is, but if you see this...LET'S BE FRIENDS, OK?